[ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, hey, everybody! thank you very much! that's a great new york city crowd right there. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. oh, great! we've got a big show tonight, it's gonna be fun. looking forward to it. [ cheers and applause ] welcome. thank you for being here. here's what people are talking about. the white house's immigration plan was leaked over the weekend and florida senator marco rubio is already calling it dead on arrival. [ light laughter ] which, incidentally, is also florida's state motto. [ laughter ] i don't know why. it's a beautiful state. but unfortunate. yeah. this is cool. yesterday nba legend michael jordan turned 50 years old. [ cheers and applause ]

yeah. scottie pippen actually helped him blow out his candles, but nobody seemed to notice. [ light laughter ] nobody noticed at all. i want to wish a happy birthday to my girl, vanna white, who turned 56 years old today. [ applause ] happy birthday, vanna white. or as "wheel of fortune" contestants put it, "hippy borthday?" [ laughter ] it takes awhile. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ shoulda bought a vowel, shoulda bought a vowel. with tax season coming up -- i guess it's actually if you bought the letter "a," you would have known it's happy birthday. >> steve: well, yeah. you wouldn't need -- >> jimmy: hippy borthdee. >> steve: hippy bordee. >> jimmy: hippy bordee. >> steve: hippy bordie? anthony bourdain. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: um, get this, you guys, a new study found that humans are slowly getting less intelligent. i was gonna read the whole study, but i'm just gonna wait

for the movie. [ laughter ] this isn't good. in the last week, the season premieres of "survivor" and "the amazing race" had their lowest ratings yet. you could tell reality show producers are worried because on "survivor" the immunity challenge was "come up with another hit reality show. go!" [ light laughter ] and finally, a judge in california announced that kim kardashian's divorce trial from kris humphries will begin on may 6th, while the pre-show on e! will begin march 1st. [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight, give it up for the roots! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a fun show tonight. he's one of the funniest comedians out there. artie lange is back on the show tonight! [ cheers and applause ] he's so good. >> steve: funny. >> jimmy: from "mad men" and "community," the beautiful alison brie is stopping by! [ cheers and applause ] she's always fun as well. and we have great music from

tame impala! [ cheers and applause ] tame impala, they're actually going to be one of the performers at this year's bonnaroo festival, you guys. which is awesome. [ cheers and applause ] that's right, you heard it here first. and here are two more bands we're announcing for the first time. animal collective and japandroids will be there. [ applause ] ♪ they're gonna be at bonnaroo this year. the full lineup will be unveiled tomorrow during a special webcast on bonnaroo.com at 2:00 p.m. eastern. it's gonna be hosted by weird al yankovic, so look for that thing tomorrow. [ light laughter ] and then tune in here tomorrow night, and we'll have a member from one of the other bonnaroo headliners sitting in with the roots. it's good stuff. [ applause ] hey, guys. you know there's a lot of bad news out there in the world. but here at "late night," we always try to find the silver lining. so with that in mind, it's time for a segment we call "on the bright side." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ on the bright side on the bright side on the bright side ♪

>> jimmy: so, here's how it works. i'm gonna give you the cold, hard facts that we've pulled from some of the world's top news sources. and then we're gonna look at the bright side and give you the silver lining. here we go. [ dramatic music ] ♪ [ light laughter ] there's a new app that deletes any mentions of your ex from facebook. on the bright side, taylor swift's facebook feed is now just a blank screen. [ laughter ] ♪ [ applause ] iceland is considering a ban on internet porn this summer. on the bright side, you've still got a couple months left to watch people bjorking. [ light laughter ] [ scattered applause ] ♪ a man in georgia was arrested for stealing a krispy kreme doughnut truck and leading police on a high-speed chase. [ light laughter ] on the bright side, eventually, the cops caught the doughnuts. [ light laughter ] [ scattered applause ]

♪ >> steve: oh, no! this is scary. >> jimmy: passengers on a carnival cruise ship were trapped in the ocean for four days. on the bright side, that's kind of what they paid for. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] [ light laughter ] ♪ a dog named banana joe was named best in show at "the westminster kennel club dog show." on the bright side it's the first time anyone named banana joe won a prize other than best male stripper. [ laughter ] [ applause ] ♪ [ light laughter ] kim kardashian is now sporting a baby bump. on the bright side, it sort of balances things out. [ laughter ] [ applause ]

[ light laughter ] ♪ scientists have discovered a species of fish that surrounds itself with uglier fish in order to make itself more attractive. on the bright side, we now know that scientists find fish attractive. ♪ [ scattered applause ] passengers aboard the stranded carnival cruise ship had to spend four days on a boat full of sewage and waste. on the bright side, the term "poop deck" finally makes sense. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on, you knew that was coming! >> jimmy: there you have it, guys. you knew it was coming. thank you, that was "on the bright side." stick around, we'll be right back with "freestyling with the roots." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. thank you so much for being here. thank you for watching. everybody, i always say our show is lucky to have the greatest band in late night, the roots, right there. [ cheers and applause ] but it isn't always fun and games. from time to time, we put the roots to the test. we pick people from our audience and have the roots make up songs

about them on the spot. it's time for "freestyling with the roots." here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ time to freestyle with the roots ♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: hey, roots, ready to do this? >> yes. >> jimmy: all right. let's pick someone. how about you, sir? right here. come on, stand up, you're right here. how are you? that's a nice -- >> how's it going? >> jimmy: -- nice mustache there, buddy. >> thank you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: um -- it's fantastic. >> thank you. i was scared to shave it, so -- >> jimmy: i would be too. it's a threatening mustache. it's very nice though. how long did you grow it? >> this is the longest. i don't know if it could get longer. >> jimmy: no. >> it might. this sides longer. >> jimmy: that's -- yeah. well, it's the style now. [ light laughter ] what is your name? >> chris. >> jimmy: chris. very good, chris. chris, where are you from? >> california. >> jimmy: hey, welcome, buddy. >> thank you. >> jimmy: what part of california? >> southern california, rancho cucamonga. >> jimmy: sure. it's a fun name to say. [ laughter ] okay, today is presidents' day. so, if you were president, what

would be the first thing that you would do? >> um -- oh, my gosh. i'd give everybody $100. >> jimmy: hey, that's pretty good! you'd give everyone $100. we love you. ♪ that's a good president. [ applause ] i love you. that works for me, man. you got my vote. you guys, we got chris right here. he's from rancho cucamonga -- california. and if he were the president, first thing he would do is give everyone $100. so for this first song, mumford & sons just won album of the year at the grammys so can you guys do a kind of mumford & sons-style type of song? ♪ [ rhythmic clapping ] ♪ my mustache in the audience his name is chris rancho cucamonga ♪ ♪ that's where he's from my other friend his name is jim he won a grammy ♪ ♪ like mumford & sons

chris said if he were president the first thing that ♪ ♪ he probably would do is get that presidential bank and give a hundred bucks to each of you ♪ ♪ yeah give a hundred bucks to you ♪ ♪ he'd give a hundred bucks to you ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, thank you, thank you. who else? come on. get up, get up. come on. how you doing? >> good, how are you? >> jimmy: doing great. here, hold this guy. what is your name? >> aonna. >> jimmy: aonna. very nice. aonna. how do you spell aonna? >> not like that. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] i don't know if you can zoom in -- [ laughter ] aonna, the oscars are coming up on sunday. what was your favorite movie you've seen in the last year? >> oh, that's a tough one.

i don't know. i guess most recent, "silver linings playbook." >> jimmy: "silver linings playbook." absolutely. "silver --" [ scattered applause ] "silver linings playbook." and if there was a movie about your life and you could have any actor or actress play you, who would it be? >> sandra bullock. >> jimmy: yeah, i could see that actually. yeah, sandra bullock. i see why you'd want that. very good. roots, we have our pal aon-a. spelled aon-a. [ laughter ] sorry. i barely graduated high school. her favorite movie this last year is "silver linings playbook." and if there was a movie about her life she would like sandra bullock to play her. obviously. roots, for this next one, could you do this is classic chicago-style blues song? ♪

♪ it's hard to spell aonna "silver linings playbook" one of her favorite films ♪ ♪ trying to tell you now actually i saw that it was filmed in philly ♪ ♪ and i can't say that i was underwhelmed listen to me now ♪ ♪ if they were gonna make a movie about her and she decide who it would be ♪ ♪ it would be sandra bullock whether it was a film for the theaters or on tv ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. i appreciate it. thank you. hey, i'm going to get through here, if you don't mind? how are you? how you doing? [ scattered applause ] hey, buddy. oh, sorry buddy. pal, how are you? you actually are in mumford & sons, aren't you?

yeah -- [ laughter ] sorry about that. excuse me. oh -- hey, how you doing? >> hi, good. >> jimmy: hey, how you doing, buddy? oh, i'm so sorry. excuse me. i appreciate it. how you doing, buddy? >> all right. >> jimmy: thanks, guys. here you go. how about you, sir? let's give it to you, sir. yeah. do you want to do it? >> yeah, sure. >> jimmy: very good. [ cheers and applause ] >> do i hold the mic? >> jimmy: yeah, sure, hold the mic. [ applause ] what -- what is the -- [ cheers and applause ] >> what's what? >> jimmy: what is -- what is your name? >> my name's ethan. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: ethan. ethan, what do you do for a living? >> i'm an actor. >> jimmy: good luck. [ laughter ] good luck. you're an actor. here in new york city, there's a lot of plays out there. any play that you're excited about right now? >> well, i'm excited about the one that i'm doing. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah, i'm starring in a play called "clive." it's an off broadway way at the new group at the acorn theatre on 42nd street. >> jimmy: cool, all right. [ cheers ] [ applause ]

all right. roots, we have -- we have our friend ethan here. he says that he's an actor. [ laughter ] he's even in a play called "clive," which he also directed. it's currently playing at the acorn theatre on 42nd street in new york through march 9th. >> nice facts you got there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i thought you were going to say that earlier, that's probably why. yeah. >> i didn't see the cards. >> jimmy: no, i know -- [ laughter ] [ talking over each other ] don't worry about it. yeah. now, i could be wrong about this, but your character "clive" has been said to resemble billy idol, is that correct? >> yes, that is true. >> jimmy: yeah, very good. >> if i'd mentioned that, you would have known it. >> jimmy: we got to do rehearsal. we really have to. roots, for this last one, could you guys do a billy idol-style song? come on. [ cheers and applause ]

♪ ♪ ♪ he came over for 30 rock check out his show today ♪ ♪ if you are heading to broadway and you wanted to see him live ♪ ♪ go to the acorn theatre he's acting in a play called "clive" ♪ ♪ he's acting in a play called "clive" he's acting in a play called "clive" ♪ ♪ he's acting in a play called "clive" he's acting in a play called "clive" ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. >> that's a flier for the show >> jimmy: for the show. thank you so much. you are a good man. ethan hawke! [ cheers and applause ] thanks to him. thanks to the roots. we'll be right back with artie lange, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ what's better? doing two things at once or just one?

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are joined right now by a hilarious, hilarious comedian. he hosts his own show weeknights from 10:00 p.m. to 1:00 a.m. eastern. you can listen on radio, or stream it, and you can also watch on the audience network on directv. please welcome back, a good friend of the show. here's artie lange. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: artie lange. we are always psyched to see you. >> what's up? >> jimmy: thank you for coming back to the show, buddy. >> good to be here, man. i'm a busy man lately. >> jimmy: you really are. >> as you can see, i look like a real go getter. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i was going to say that about you. >> i pack life. >> jimmy: pack life. >> yeah, i pack life, i'm vibrant. >> jimmy: "the artie lange show." >> that's right. >> jimmy: congratulations. it's a big hit. you cover a lot of topics. it's a lot of time to fill. >> yeah, it's a lot of time to fill. three hours. but you know, that's why they call me talent. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but i mean, you mostly focus on sports. >> it's a sports show. yeah. it's sports show. the world of sports is amazing. i was just down in the -- in new orleans, the big easy, for the super bowl. >> jimmy: oh, was that fun? >> that's where i got this jacket at the nfl experience. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i got this jacket. a very, very reasonable $93 for this. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. >> yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> jimmy: good lord. >> to look like someone who was just on a dental convention. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's worth every penny. >> it's the least hip jacket there is. >> jimmy: it really is. like members only with the logo on it. >> and i noticed -- football -- being around the world of sports, football players especially, they're so good at something, they're allowed to get away with the craziest behavior. like chad ochocinco. chad johnson. >> jimmy: oh yeah, chad johnson. >> he's was originally chad johnson. he's such a good player, that he gets away with anything. so he changes his name from chad johnson to chad ochocinco. >> jimmy: ochocinco. >> which is his football jersey's number in spanish. >> jimmy: oh, that's okay. >> and everyone's like, fine you're just good at what you do, so that's fine. >> jimmy: yeah, you can do that. >> and as a comedian, i wanted to make fun of him but he gets a lot of broads, this guy. and i want to sort of take after him. but i don't have a jersey number. so here's what i'm thinking of doing. from this day on, i'm thinking about making my last name my cholesterol level is spanish. [ laughter ] which would be of course be

artie quatro dos ocho. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: quatro dos ocho. >> quatro dos ocho. >> jimmy: that's what we're going to call you from now on. [ cheers and applause ] your cholesterol number. >> that's could be my blood sugar. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: artie, i want to talk to you about this. i'm shocked to know that you're not an mma fan. >> no. i don't like -- you know, i like the old time boxing. a lot of people try to get me to watch it. i like old time boxing, mostly because they wore shoes and socks. these mma guys, it's creepy. they have bare feet on. just put some shoes on, dude. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it is, why are they -- >> dancing around. it just creeps me out. you wouldn't put up with that in your own home. [ laughter ] they're on television. get dressed. and it's a creepy sport to me. my buddies are like, "no, you should get into it." it's like a man's man thing. and i try to do it. but every time i put it on, it looks like -- i'm sorry, it looks like two guys having sex. [ laughter ] they're like, put on mma. it's always two guys in the missionary position. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my gosh.

>> watch it. i'm not kidding. they're in bare feet. >> jimmy: yeah, underwear. >> yeah, underwear. bare feet. they're in the missionary position. one guy is spread eagle, the other guy is laying on top of the guy. [ laughter ] and they're not even fighting. they're kind of cuddling. [ laughter ] but the guy on top is whispering something in his ear. [ laughter ] which could be violent, i don't know. you can't hear it. we want violence. you know, and out of nowhere the guy on top just starts punching the guy in the face. out of nowhere. and here's what it looks like. mma boxing looks like this to me. it looks like two gay guys are having sex, then out of nowhere, one of them realizes he's not gay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i get it. and he's like -- [ applause ] yeah, yeah. in the middle of it. >> ahh! i just had sex with chuck liddell. awful. it's awful. >> jimmy: now, you were saying -- you were saying that you don't enjoy --

you also don't enjoy the gps in your car. >> no, no. i'm not into technology. oddly enough. >> jimmy: why? it's a good thing. it's a good thing. >> i know it's a good thing, but the voice creepsme out. >> jimmy: the robot voice. >> it's that robot voice. it's very creepy to me. and i don't use it, because the voice, i feel like i'm in a horror movie or something. i think there's a perfect opportunity for, you know, celebrities to make some voiceover money. i would use it all the time if it were a friendly sort of inviting recognizable voice. like, if mike tyson were the gps voice, i would never not use it. i would make up excuses. like, at 3:00 a.m. i'd get up just to use my gps. could imagine if you hear, like -- [ impersonating mike tyson ] drive 2.3 miles until you see a stop sign. [ laughter ] when you get to the stop sign, get out of the car and make a right hand turn. then realize you should have been in the car when you made the turn. [ laughter ] recalculating. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]

drive another 0.3 miles and pull into a sunoco station. [ laughter ] when i was writing that bit, i realized that it's impossible -- i had a medical discovery. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's impossible to be depressed if, as mike tyson, you say the words sunoco station. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you could be anywhere. >> no, no. i'm telling you. the people who make prozac, they don't want you to know this. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah, yeah. you try it. sunoco station. it's unreal. you could be at your friend's funeral. like "joey, i love you, man, sunoco station." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you guys, more with artie lange when we get back. stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ engine revving ] ♪ [ male announcer ] every car we build must make adrenaline pump and pulses quicken. ♪ to help you not just to stay alive...

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are back with the really funny, the great artie lange. he hosts "the artie lange show" weeknights from 10:00 p.m. to 1:00 a.m. eastern. you can stream it or watch it on the audience network on directv. >> yeah. >> jimmy: have you ever met mike tyson? >> after doing an impression like that, i hope i never do.

>> jimmy: yeah, exactly. >> it's funny. it reminds me of a story. when i was on "the howard stern show" i used to do an impression of him all the time. and 50 cent the rapper came on. he said the funniest thing i've heard i think. we're on stern, and he told us that he bought mike tyson's old house in connecticut. and howard looked at me and that was kind of my cue to do a mike tyson impression. and i'm doing the impression and it's not the most flattering impression. i'm laughing, howard's laughing. robin's laughing and 50 cent isn't laughing. and he sort of looks at us and shakes his head and he goes, "y'all act like mike don't still knock mother effers out." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, he still does. yeah. that is true. >> true dat. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: true dat. yeah, absolutely. >> yeah, i'd be afraid, i don't know. >> jimmy: but, everything's going well with you, which i'm happy to hear. for awhile there it was a little -- we were worried about you. >> i've had some trouble. i've had some trouble. but i came back in a real way. and again, i'm just happy i'm in a part of showbiz where i don't have to do real embarrassing commercials yet. because, you know, a lot of guys

do. and when it's a guy i hate, i don't mind seeing it. like jimmy johnson used to coach the cowboys. he was the head coach for the cowboys. i'm a giants fan, so i hate the cowboys. and right now jimmy johnson currently - thank you. jimmy johnson, currently has a commercial on tv which is maybe the most embarrassing thing i've ever seen. it's for extenze pills, which is to extend your manhood, you know. it's a pill that's supposed to make your penis grow bigger. and that's goofy enough. but the great part about the commercial is -- >> jimmy: you love this. >> this is a true story. i'm obsessed with the commercial. >> jimmy: because you hate jimmy johnson. >> i hate him, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> i'm just happy it's not a giant coach doing it. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. >> so at the end of the commercial, this is what takes the cake. an announcer comes on and says, "if you act now within the next five minutes and buy these extenze pills, you'll be invited to a special extenze dinner where you'll get to meet jimmy johnson.

and i thought to myself, okay. could there be a more embarrassing place on the planet earth to run into another human being -- [ laughter ] -- than at the extenze jimmy johnson small penis dinner. [ laughter ] could you imagine? [ cheers and applause ] could you imagine. when you're getting ready, what do you tell your friends? what do you tell your wife? where are you going? "oh, there's this thing at the holiday inn express." [ laughter ] because if you're at that party -- if you're at that party, you're already immediately four levels of loser. [ laughter ] okay, and here they are. i'm obsessed with this. >> jimmy: i just love it. >> if you're seen at that party, we already know these four things about you. and they're all awful. one is, of course, you have a small penis. unfortunate. can't help that. the other one, though, is you believe there's a pill that will fix that problem.

[ laughter ] you believe there's a pill for that. third thing, you don't need any research on it. [ laughter ] but you want to believe it so bad, that within five minutes you'll order it. you don't need any doctors. >> jimmy: that's why you're getting invited with the first five minutes. i've seen enough. >> pills, dinner? i'm there! bigger penis, where do i sign up? [ laughter ] and the fourth thing as a giant fan and possibly the biggest loser thing is you want to meet jimmy johnson. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's it. that's the final thing that makes you, as a giant fan. [ cheers and applause ] >> that's the final level of loser. >> jimmy: but it must be fun doing this new job, because you get to meet all these coaches, all these players. >> right, right. >> jimmy: so at the super bowl you did a celebrity beach bowl thing. >> i did. i did. and i was sitting on a bench with jim brown for the celebrity beach bowl. they get these old time players

and new players and stupid celebrities. solid g-list celebrities to play in this football game. and kate upton, the supermodel, was on my team, okay. and i sat on the bench the whole time. >> jimmy: swimsuit cover -- >> swimsuit model. unbelievable. >> jimmy: yes, gorgeous. >> she had these real tight pants on. and it was me and jim brown. and jim brown and i, the legendary running back for the browns, we were on the bench together the entire time. we didn't play. his excuse was he's 80. [ laughter ] mine is i've had too many cheesesteaks, i guess. you know? >> jimmy: too many cheesecakes. >> and i'd love to bond with jim brown, how do i do that? now, i realize after about ten minutes that both of us are just staring at kate upton's ass. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's a foot in front of us and we're two men. and we're just, you know, we're drawn to her ass. and we're looking at it. and even in that moment, i'm such a sports fan i'm thinking "what do i say to jim brown?" so after ten minutes i feel someone hit my knee like this. and it's him. and i look over. he goes looks at me and he goes, "hey, i'd like some of that, huh?" [ laughter ]

>> jimmy: that's how you bonded with jim -- >> and i went, "tell me about it." and he went like this. gave me a high five. and that's it. that's the only thing we've ever said to each other. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's the way to do it when you got to do it. >> that's the only thing i've ever said. [ cheers and applause ] i mean, he literally looked at me, "i'd like some of that, huh?" >> jimmy: yeah, absolutely. we love having you on the show. congrats on "the artie lange show." you guys, look it up, find it. [ cheers and applause ] our thanks to the very funny, the great artie lange, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "community's" alison brie joins us after the break. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] the miraculous is everywhere. in our homes, our minds. we can share every second in data dressed as pixels. a billion roaming photojournalists... uploading the human experience. and it is spectacular. so why would you cap that? my iphone 5 can see every point of view... every panorama, the entire gallery of humanity.

i need to upload all of me. i need, no, i have the right to be unlimited. only sprint offers truly unlimited data... for iphone 5. uh, hey. i'm bob. lked at the tax store. i did your taxes. well, i thought you were a tax expert. ( female announcer reading ) ...than all major tax stores combined. there's nothing like our grilled lobster and lobster tacos. the bar harbor bake is really worth trying. [ male announcer ] get more during red lobster's lobsterfest. with the year's largest selection of mouth-watering lobster entrees. like our delicious lobster lover's dream, featuring two kinds of succulent lobster tails. or our savory, new grilled maine lobster and lobster tacos. it's back, but not for long. [ woman ] our guests go crazy for lobsterfest. my favorite entree is the lobster lover's dream. what's yours? come celebrate lobsterfest and sea food differently.

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believe i'm just glitz and glam when i'm so much more. i'm downtown and ocean front.

my nights are just as busy as my days. the arts are my passion. food my obsession. and when you finally think you know me. you'll realize, there's still so much more to discover. los angeles. endlessly entertaining. plan your getaway at discoverlosangeles.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a very talented actress who stars in two tv shows. you know her as trudy campbell on "mad men," and also as annie edison on the very funny show "community," which airs thursdays at 8:00 p.m., right here on nbc. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome alison brie! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪

>> jimmy: very, very nice. welcome back. >> thank you. >> jimmy: alison brie, you look gorgeous. >> thank you. >> jimmy: welcome back. >> oh. >> jimmy: are the coyotes still bothering you? >> they are not. i'm happy to report that, now that i've nailed the gorilla thing, i just run right for them. like, i chase the coyotes down. >> jimmy: last time she was here, she was saying coyotes were attacking her. oh, my gosh. >> i kind of have to like gorilla-out to fend them off. >> artie: gorilla out? really? >> yeah, you know. >> artie: what does that mean? >> you know what that -- >> artie: of course, why would i not? [ laughter ] >> you know what it's like. who are we kidding? but no, so now i just chase them. >> jimmy: you chase them and they're afraid of you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: are you liking your new neighborhood? >> i love my neighborhood. i love my neighborhood. i do have a new neighbor, who is interesting. he's -- he's very sweet, but he's a football player. he doesn't watch a lot of tv, he's told me. i think that when i told him i was on "community," that he didn't believe it was a real show. so he's told all of his friends that i'm on "the office." whenever i see them -- and they

won't let it go. they won't let it go. whenever i see them like when they crash my totally '80s party at my house -- >> jimmy: that sounds fun. full on '80s? >> so -- yeah, yeah. full on '80s party. i got like tab soda and bugles. >> artie: wow. >> jimmy: that's fantastic. bugles are so fun. >> and we're hanging out and suddenly just big dudes, not dressed in '80s clothing, are at my house. yeah, just crashing -- >> artie: what's going on in here -- >> yeah, yeah. and everybody's like in sweat bands like "oh no, what's happening?" it was just a ton of mickey mouse's at my house. [ impersonates mickey ] "oh, no!" >> jimmy: mickey mouse impersonators. [ impersonates mickey ] it's a very fun party. i've been there, a couple times. it's not that -- just look at these big men. >> so, anyway, but they find me. they're like seeking me out. they're like, "you -- you, you're the girl that lives here? you're on 'the office'." and i was like, "oh, no, i'm actually on this show, it's called 'community'." and they're like, "you're on 'the office'." and i was like, "oh, well, no." and it went back and forth -- "you're on 'the office'."

they told me -- like our friend told me you're on "the office." and i was like, "you know, i think he made a mistake, it's a similar show. i mean, it's on the same network." and the guy goes, "oh, oh, i see what's going on here. you're saying you're not on 'the office,' but you're on 'the office'." and i was just like -- i just had to -- "yeah, yeah, i am. i love being on that show. i play pam." >> jimmy: i play pam. >> i play pam. will they, won't they? it's been going on for so long. >> artie: it's an '80s party, it needed some cocaine. >> jimmy: no, no, you got to stay away from that stuff. >> artie: you know the '80s. >> how did we get from mickey mouses to cocaine? we were so wholesome over here. >> artie: you haven't been to the right parties. [ laughter ] you never did blow with one of the disney characters? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that person doesn't work at disneyland anymore, do they? no. >> artie: how do you think he got the name "goofy?" >> jimmy: "community" is going well. congratulations. finally back on the air, which is awesome. >> yes. >> jimmy: because -- they waited.

everyone wanted to see it. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you, thank you. yes. it's been a little while. it's been a little while. we've been waiting. >> jimmy: it's fun. and also on the side, because -- on the side i heard that you're in a band now. >> i have a band. >> jimmy: a cover band. >> i have a cover band. it's not a real band, it's a cover band. we're called the girls. >> jimmy: original name. very good. i'm assuming all -- all girls? >> artie: but your neighbor's telling all his friends it's the beatles. [ laughter ] no, you're in the beatles! >> okay, okay. >> jimmy: okay, i'm ringo! i'm ringo, i'm ringo. >> -- ringo, natural choice. >> jimmy: yeah, of course. >> no, the name -- you know, it was sort of a place holder name. we were like, we'll think of a name and for now, we'll just call ourselves the girls who sing other people's songs. like, it's clever. it has this little addendum. but then we realized quickly that no band -- like no place that hosts bands is going to write that many things down. >> jimmy: yeah, on the flyer. >> on the flyer. >> jimmy: just "the girls." >> yeah, so we just kind of abbreviate it. >> jimmy: and you just do cover songs. >> do all cover songs. >> jimmy: who do you do covers for? >> we do "rich girl," like hall & oates covers. we do bruce springsteen. >> jimmy: fun. >> we do weezer. we like pop songs --

>> jimmy: where do you play? >> anywhere, baby. >> jimmy: really? because i'm having a totally '80s party next week, if you can come? >> we are there. >> jimmy: i've invited some football players that don't know who i am. they're like, "congratulations mr. kimmel, you're on at 11:30." [ laughter ] different jimmy, different jimmy. >> artie: you can play my party i'm having. can you do "ride the lightning" by metallica? >> yeah! i know exactly what that is. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "community" is back, finally. now, it's -- it's fourth season. >> yes. >> jimmy: and here's what makes me laugh about it, because, i don't know why, but it's late, it was suppose to come out in -- in october. so it just came on last week. and so, the halloween episode aired last week. >> we shot all our episodes. and this is the first -- this is the first time we've covered them all. thanksgiving, christmas. like we were really nailing them, and now they're all airing like -- >> artie: really? >> now. >> artie: oh, wow. >> so christmas in april. >> jimmy: so the christmas episode is coming on in a couple weeks? >> yeah, it's going to be great. >> jimmy: i can't wait to see it. >> merry march. >> jimmy: it's a merry march christmas. but you do a lot of -- i heard

that you freestyle rap. >> i -- i -- i am an amateur free-style rapper. >> artie: you do everything. >> yeah, what can't i do? >> jimmy: but -- why did you do -- why would you do this? i can't freestyle rap. >> it sounds awful. >> jimmy: well, i can't do it. >> well, i work with donald glover, who is a professional rapper, childish gambino. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. yeah, he's fantastic. >> he's great. he's great. [ cheers and applause ] and danny -- and danny pudi is a really good beat boxer. so, there's a lot of musicality going on on set. and then i think i just wanted to get in on the action and i just started doing it on set as a joke. and everyone would make fun of me, because i was like the insecure rapper that had to qualify everything. i'd be like -- [ rapping ] ♪ yeah you don't know what am i saying ♪ ♪ i told you that yesterday ♪ >> jimmy: that's your rap? very confusing -- >> okay, that was a bad example. that was a bad example. >> jimmy: no, it's good. it's like -- your rhyme needs to be mind benders. wow, that was so deep. >> artie: that doesn't rhyme. >> that one didn't rhyme. it's notable that the first time that i ever rapped for people other than the cast of

"community," i was accompanied by questlove, himself, with two drum sticks on my -- living room table. on the coffee table. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah. how could i pass up that opportunity. >> jimmy: he's the best drummer in the world. well -- can you give us a little taste? a little freestyle now? [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, boy. >> jimmy: what do i have to do? -- microphone. we have microphones. >> oh! >> jimmy: take your pick, we have thousands of microphones. >> how many do you have? are you going to rap with me? >> jimmy: no, i'm the worst freestyle rapper. >> yo, yo, yo. >> jimmy: do i have to give you something? >> no. beat box, you beat box, now. i got a good beat there going. [ rapping ] ♪ oh, oh, okay here we go we're talking about "community" ♪ ♪ and you're gonna laugh so much you won't have immunity ♪ ♪ you're catching a comedy cold 'cause we're bold ♪ ♪ if you ain't sold then now you been told about troy and abed getting inside your head ♪ ♪ taking sheets from your bed to make a fort ♪ ♪ if you don't watch the show i'm taking you to court ♪ ♪ my name is ali brie i'm on "community" thursday nights

on nbc ♪ >> jimmy: yeah! that's what i'm -- [ cheers and applause ] not bad. not too shabby. alison brie! "community" airs thursdays at 8:00 p.m. on nbc. tame impala performs next. that's not bad. hey! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guests made their tv debut with us back in august of 2011. boy, how you guys have grown. congratulations. since then, they've become one of the most talked about new

acts in rock. performing the song "elephant" from their album "lonerism," please welcome back to the show, tame impala. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i bet he feels like an elephant shaking his big grey trunk for the hell of it ♪ ♪ you know that you're dreaming about being over him ♪ ♪ too bad your chances are slim ♪ ♪ ♪ and it's not like mister shook to get shy when they ask him who is under ♪ ♪ there must be something deep down in the middle down there ♪ ♪ he's not too easily scared ♪

♪ ♪ he's got friends but they have fear who don't care too much if he just disappeared ♪ ♪ oh, look there he is now coming down the stairs ♪ ♪ here it comes ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ he pulled the mirrors off his cadillac yeah 'cause he doesn't like it looking like he looks back ♪ ♪ he talks like his opinion is a simple fact somebody grabbed his collar ♪ ♪ he cried the whole way home he won't remember a thing when they start again ♪ ♪ that's how it is 'til the end yeah ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's the way to do it, buddy. fantastic, thanks for coming back, man. tame impala! see them live, tuesday, right here in new york. my thanks to artie lange, alison brie, ethan hawke, tame impala, and the greatest

band in late night the roots right there, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for carson daly. thank you for watching. have a great night. hope to see you tomorrow, bye-bye! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ captions paid for by nbc-universal television captions by vitac www.vitac.com ♪ >> carson: hey, what's up, guys and gals? carson daly here, and you've tuned into "last call" from the redbury hotel in hollywood. thank you for that. tonight, sam sheridan teaches us how to survive the apocalypse. his latest book is called "the disaster diaries," and you're going to find out all about that in our "spotlight" in just a little bit. for the music, we're going to visit downtown l.a. and the historic orpheum theatre. one of our favorites in the music tonight is blitzen trapper. but first, a year and half ago, i sat down witsa